Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
