wrigley field is MILF paradise
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
