this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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