are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
