I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
