I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
