So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
