remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
