If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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