Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
