what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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