I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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