in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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