Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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