For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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