Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
