we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
