I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
