You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
only you would photoshop your dick
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your cock deserves a montage
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
