Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Randomize
