You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
