She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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