OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
