would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize