He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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