The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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