I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
