Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
