I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
