Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet

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(806): View more from Texas

a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work

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(925): View more from California

I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me

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(218): View more from Minnesota

If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?

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(678): View more from Georgia

As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

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(360): View more from Washington

Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.

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(718): View more from New York

She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.

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(480): View more from Arizona

She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.

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