He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
