batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
