just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
