And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
