you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
