Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
