How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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