I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
