No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
