he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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