im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I think i got beer on your cat.
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