Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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