Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
do herpes really smell.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
