She's JV to your varsity
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Even the bartender felt bad for me
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize