Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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