This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
