Yo dont text me then not text me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
