she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I need to calm my uterus...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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