But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So squirting runs in the family.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
