Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
