'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
