they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
