What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We were destined to go to rehab together
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Two words: nipple clamps
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