Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
tell me about the fingering
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