i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
