what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize