We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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