At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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