this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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