I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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