Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize