Pappa wants mamma naked
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
that may or may not have been my penis.
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