I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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