So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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