i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
