That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need to calm my uterus...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
