So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
