i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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