i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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