hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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