Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
