Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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