I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
