Someone shit on the floor
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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