i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
