Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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